Goodbye Cruel World!

Okay, this be it -- No more Blogger posts. Why? Well, I tried out Blogger on a whim, and it was worth about that -- a whim. I have a domain at www.puredoxyk.com, and decided after futzing with this teenager-worthy interface for a while that it was worth it to upgrade to something more flexible. Anyway, I have lots of other ambitions, projects and blatherings, and it'll be nice to keep them all in one place. (They're categorized, so you can always just click "polyphasic" if all you want to read about is the sleep stuff.)

Lately I've been powering through setbacks, something Everyman seems well-suited to, finishing up my adjustment and squeezing out some research in the cracks (much more research is forthcoming, once finals are over for this semester!). I think I've got an interesting lead on the "structure" of polyphasic schedules, which might give us a good hint about how to successfully modify them. More on that soon.

Thanks to everyone who read this blog; please do hop over to puredoxyk.com and leave your thoughts! The comment interface is much friendlier, I think, plus the new site does a really nice RSS feed if that makes things easier for ya.

Ta, and happy 20-minute dreams!

-PD

Everyman Morning 9 - Undersleeping? Okay...

Post mirrored from http://www.puredoxyk.com...please update your brain and/or bookmarks...this is or is approaching the last entry to be duplicated here!

Well, that was interesting. Went to bed on time, but darn tired as missing that 10:00 tends to do; was very careful to set up the alarm so I thought I couldn't miss it. Actually, I laid down at 1:30 with a book, figuring that after missing a nap, getting a few extra Z's wouldn't kill me. I don't know when I passed out exactly, but I woke up once at 2:15 when the book fell on my face or something.

Sleep, gorgeous sleep--like pizza, it's SO much more appreciable when you're not overdoing it. Then, next thing I remember, I'm standing in the middle of the room, blinking my eyes and looking around, vaguely pissed off because there's no alarm going off so I figure I must have overslept. Gah dangit!

I go pee. This rouses me enough so that when I come back to my area, I actually can read the clock and comprehend it. It says...3:00. I woke up, for whatever reason, after not quite an hour. And by the time I realized this, I was feeling pretty awake, and kind of shocked that I could--nay, must--go back to bed.

I didn't oversleep that time either; the alarm bounced me right up at five. I have to admit, having a downright silly amount of time to get ready for work is kind of pleasant...I just took a leisurely shower and sat on the back porch a while, and I still have plenty of time to eat breakfast. Neato.

Thus begins day 9. I'm a little groggy now, no differently than I usually am when getting up for work after a full night's snoz. Not worried about driving or anything, though.

-PD

You're ALL ON NOTICE!

This blog is being moved, to http://www.puredoxyk.com. That site is still incomplete now, but it's functional and all the old posts from this blog are over there, so please update your bookmarks as soon as it's convenient. Very soon now, new posts will begin appearing there instead of here. There's more on that site than just Uberman, but all the polyphasic sleep posts are categorized for easy finding. (I need to consolidate the number of websites I keep, argh!)

Last night I couldn't sleep during my 10:00 nap -- no doubt a side-effect of the six-hour snooze the night before -- BUT I did get up at 5:00 without incident, and while I'm tired now, it's not terrible. If this is recovery on Everyman, it's no worse than recovery on monophase! But we shall see how the rest of the day goes.

-PD

Dumber than a Brick, or just the Will of Fate?

In retrospect, I feel like *such* an idiot.

After having a good day yesterday, I wasn't prepared to crash out during my core last night, and I slept right through my alarm (didn't set a backup). Slept for six hours -- yikes. Ruined any chance of getting my 9 a.m. nap, either; I didn't even bother trying.

I know what's in store for me now -- almost a full readjustment, probably at least 3-4 days of being tired again, and just as I was really starting to get the hang of it, too. I just so expected the result of my oversleeping a bit to manifest itself during the next couple naps (as it does with Uberman, generally), that when they went by without incident, I thought I was in the clear. D'OH.

Aggravating to lose that time, when this is Hell Week with school and I don't have it to lose; and aggravating to have to go backwards when I was right on the brink of seeing what really adapting to Everyman was like. However, no silverliningless cloud and whatnot, it is true that I would have had to oversleep at some point, in order to be able to report the results in the book. And at least I know that readjusting, while not fun, won't ruin me this week; I expect it to be less uncomfortable, but maybe take longer, than an Uberman readjust (which takes 24-48 hours for a fully-adapted person, IIRC).

Some notes on the book - Obviously I haven't made any real progress on it, but I hadn't planned to until this godsawful semester was over. However, I had thought I'd be limiting my study to Uberman alone, and obviously that has changed. I had thought I would title it Uberman:ZZZ (it was gonna look really neat in the layout, a big silver "Uberman" with three chunky black Z's behind it) -- but that doesn't seem appropriate now. I'm leaning towards "Polyphasic Revolution", since, yes, the more I learn about this, the more I lean towards the evangelical (much as the word makes me shudder--talk about negative connotations). But ideas are welcome, if anybody likes that sort of thing. (If nobody does, no biggie, since *I* like it. ;)

Well, I'm sure I won't be tired today, so I'd better use it to the best of my ability and bash out good chunks of these papers, since I bet I'm *wasted* tomorrow. Le sigh. Live and learn, I guess.

Ta,
PD

Aftermath / End of Day 6

Well, oversleeping this morning didn't throw me off the schedule, or kick me into crash-mode. I slept fine all day, even at 9:00 and in spite of some scheduling weirdness during the afternoon.

I've been tired, but mostly just tired like I would be on a monophasic schedule if I missed some sleep, say only got 5 or 6 hours. I'm more tired than that now, but it's 1:13, and I usually get sleepy between 1-2. It's not actually too difficult to deal with though; I wind down for my core by reading or watching tv for half an hour, which is pleasant and I fall asleep lightning fast.

Everyman does give you one thing I really wanted out of Uberman this time, too: The ability to "stay up late" and "get up early", both. I like nights *and* mornings, and I always hate missing one to hang out in the other!

Good luck tonight to all the people I've talked to today who are starting new, or bullying through one of the dreaded Rough Patches. Hang in there, ya'll. Who's in charge, you or your meat? You can do it!

-PD

...And so will Day 6

So, time to find out how easy/hard it is to recover from an oversleep on Everyman. This will be my first one.

I didn't *have* to oversleep. But I was upset over family crap and couldn't sleep for my 10:00, and it's Saturday, so I talked myself into going to bed at 1 and sleeping until 7 (though I could have gotten up at 5, actually; I just felt like being lazy).

So now we get to learn what the payment on such practices is. I'm a bit groggy now, but nothing terrible; I'm stying away from coffee or showers so that I can get my 9:00 in, hopefully. Will report on the rest.

It is pretty funny to sleep until 7 on a Saturday and subsequently beat yourself up for being so lazy. ;)

-PD

Day 5 Produceth a Lesson

...And that lesson is: Thou Shalt Not eat too soon before a nap.

I'd been waking up on my own for a few naps, a couple minutes ahead of the timer, and feeling good, even at 5 a.m. today. Then my lunch appointment got started late, and I ended up eating at about 1:15, finishing about 1:45, and getting my nap at 2:15. I slept, but I woke up crazy groggy. I had to drink a cup of "real coffee" to wake up, and this from someone who's down to 1-2 cups of half-caff in the morning and that's it. (It's rather funny, since I quit I can "feel" real coffee again. I haven't gotten a buzz from coffee since I was like, 13!)

There was another time I though I could trace the grogginess to having eaten, but this is much more conclusive.

All of this is hilarious on a very strange level...Now I'm on the "Eat, Activity, Sleep" cycle that's how I was advised to raise babies, and which advice probably saved my butt because my daughter was an *awful* sleeper. As soon as the baby wakes, you see if it's hungry and feed it if it is. Then you set up something for it to play with or do (at least once a day, by itself--but supervised, of course). When it starts to fuss, you know it isn't hungry again yet, so if the butt's good and it's been a few hours, you put the little bundle back to bed, and--even if it's a lovely bundle like mine that wakes every 2-3 hours around the clock for seven months--it will sleep. It was called the "EASY" schedule, the "Y" being "your time", a much-needed reminder to new mothers to chill while the baby naps.

And now I'm the one on it. Freaky.

By the way, if you ever wonder why some parents seem to develop a psychological problem where they relate almost everything to the experiences their children have provided for them, I'll tell you: It's a trauma, from the extreme sleep-deprivation some of us go through. I was nearly hospitalized for hallucinations. So I have an excuse. ;)

Alrighty, naptime.

-PD

Update & Uberman/Everyman Comparison Notes

Technically this is still "Day 4", since I've been counting them from 6 p.m., which is when I started Uberman on July 7. To keep things clear, however, I fell off Uberman with a 5 hour nap on last Saturday the 15th, muddled through Sunday with a core sleep, and decided to officially implement a 3-hour core and give Everyman a shot beginning on Monday. Starting tomorrow morning I'll refer to it as "day 5".

One possible advantage to Everyman for some people (or disadvantage for others) is that it doesn't mess with your senses of time nearly as badly. You have long days, but they're still days, broken up by a period of sleep, however short. On Uberman, after a few weeks, you start to feel very strongly that everything is one long speeding freight train of a day. I kind of miss that feeling, but I can also completely understand now that it wouldn't be at all compatible with my lifestyle. But hey, lifestyles change, so I'll just keep my ears open. You never know. ;)

I woke up this morning feeling *far* more human, and didn't have any trouble driving in to work. Was this related to the fact that I hit the snooze button again, this time for half an hour? I don't *think* so--one doesn't actually get that much more sleep by snoozing--but we'll see; I'm moving the alarm clock tonight so I can't do that anymore. (I've found that I have to move them periodically; otherwise I'll eventually get used to the sensation of getting up and turning it off.) I don't feel like I messed up the schedule, though.

To counter the dismality (yay, new word!) of last night, let me say that though I'm guarded about the feasibility of Everyman, I am really geeked about it and extremely hopeful that it proves workable in the long run (i.e. that I stop being tired). It's got a lot going for it, enabling one to sleep only about 4 hours daily (something I *never* could have pulled off before) and breaking up the day nicely (I like having to take breaks periodically; it keeps me fresh and focused -- it's something I've missed about smoking since I quit 2 years ago)...BUT it doesn't seem to zombify you nearly as badly or for as long as Uberman, and you get to keep the nice "snuggle in and sleep" part of nightly snoozing that many of us really dig on and/or rely on for reboot & relaxation. If it turns out that energy levels are as high, or close to as high, on Everyman as I and others have experienced on Uberman, it'll actually turn out to be a nice tradeoff. I can't tell yet, though...it being Day 4 of *this* schedule, I might simply be tired from adjusting; but since I've been polyphasic for 13 days now, I might also simply be experiencing the best that one get on this schedule, which I would find disappointing. So for now it's a coin-toss.

If I sound frustrated, by the way, most of that has nothing to do with sleeping per se; it's mostly that, because of this month being the Hell Month From Hades, I haven't been able to use *any* of my extra time for fun things, really, which is peeving me off. I'm either working, napping, or too tired to do anything but the stay-awake basics, like showering and walking and watching movies. It'll be so incredibly nice when that's over...but before it's *officially* over I have another challenge: I'm going to go on a week's vacation, and I'm determined not to let it ruin all this hard work I've done. Oo boy.

FYI, though I've been gathering tons of good info from all the lovely people I've run into lately who are also interested in this, I still don't have hardly anything on the longer-term use of Everyman. So feel free to throw it at me, if you find it laying around. ;)

-PD

P.S. Just noticed I was tired, and thought, "Maaaaaan..." BUT, I see it's actually half an hour till naptime. Well, isn't that nice!

An excuse to insult me

Here, I'll post during my most tired time -- the hour before my core -- and let you all tell me if I'm acting dangerously wonky or somesuch. Um...no lying, please.

So this is Day 4. I was tired waking from every nap; I slept for all of them, though not always soundly, and work made me 1/2 hour late for my afternoon (2:00) nap. Had a minor but significant bout of blurry/unfocused vision on the drive to work.

I'll be honest; I'm plagued with worries about how to tell if this isn't going to work before I screw up some major obgliation due to sleep-dep...keep in mind, this is Everyman Day 4, but I've been sleep-deprived for, um, twelve days now. Thirteen? No, twelve I think. It gets old. Savvy?

And if it doesn't work, what then? Give up? Try Uberman again? I have no idea. But I also try not to think about it (I fail more when I'm tired), yet. I'm pulling for Everyman; I have loads of blind faith, of pure unsubstantiated knowledge, that it'll work.

And with that, it's time to wind down and get ready for Day 5.

-PD

Everyman Day 3, Gay Moslems & Naked Fozzy. Word up!

During my 3-hour core last night (and I do love the cores; they feel wonderful, though it remains to be seen how they actually work out), I had a dream. I only remember that I was organizing a controversial event called "Brokeback Moselm" and it was very stressful. When my alarm went off at five, I sat up, said something about this being Palestinian time, and reset it. Which could have been a disaster, but then I opened my eyes fifteen minutes later, feeling more awake than I have in the morning yet.

w0rd. And weird. Actually, for me that's not a particularly weird dream -- I have Boss Weird dreams. Seriously.

Anyway, it's almost time for my 9:00, which I'm glad I moved up -- I'm going to second Steve Pavlina (again) and say that moving naps so that they're a bit closer together when you're tired, and wider apart when you're awake (instead of 2-5, 10, 2, I do 2-5, 9, 2 and feel much better). Of course, consistency counts, especially in the first month. The percentage of people I talk to who fail for lack of consistency is HUGE, and getting bigger all the time.

If this Everyman thing works out, I'll revamp my sagely advice (mm, smells like pasta) to read, "If you can't stay consistent on the schedule you picked, change it to one you CAN be consistent with". Because if you're not being consistent about your sleeping times and durations, you're not going to adapt and form the habits you need to stop feeling sleepy. Everyman may mean 3-4 hours of sleep daily versus Uberman's 2, but if you can't stick to Uberman, you're only going to end up back at the drawing board anyway...and suchness and so forth.

I just got this CRAZY urge to see the Muppets rendition of The Emperor's New Clothes. Wow. It must be naptime.

-PD

Day 11 / Everyman Day 2

Well, staying up at night is easier now -- I didn't get sleepy until 1 a.m. yesterday -- but I'm still very tired in the morning and on and off throughout the day.

Must remember not to be too impatient, as I've only been on *this* schedule 2 days, but I can't help but be dubious still about Everyman's effectiveness. I've been chatting with some folks in the new Polyphaser's IRC channel (irc.oftc.net #ubersleep) and have garnered lots of info, BUT I still haven't found anyone who successfully (i.e. without tiredness) did Everyman. Uberman may sound less likely to work, being harder to implement, but there is evidence that it does work, historical as well as anecdotal. I haven't heard of any famous people who did a "core sleep" polyphasic schedule yet, but Uberman has quite a roster. Hmm.

One weakness to Everyman that I learned today is that you now have a long nap in there that it's just as critical that you get as Uberman's short naps are. Being undisturbed for 20 minutes is one thing; sleeping undisturbed for 3 hours is harder, as I learned last night. The disruption caused me to be holy-crap-tired this morning, and I took an extra 20 minute nap before work to try and alleviate it (I could tell I was past the "shouldn't drive" level). The extra nap let me drive, but I didn't really feel much better until I'd been awake a full hour. Then I couldn't really sleep for my 9 a.m., but whether that's because of the extra nap or the fact that my car is in the shop and I had to camp out on my office floor, I can't say. I got a nice rest, though, and sometimes that's almost as good. That is, I feel much better now, half an hour after "waking".

An upside is that one is definitely less afraid of missing a 20-minute nap on Everyman, because you know you have that core to help you catch up some; whereas in Uberman, you just have to crawl your way back by keeping your naps up, and after 2-4 of them, you feel better. (Which, actually, when you think about it, is about the same recovery-rate, time-wise. But I would bet the "crash" is faster and harder on Uberman.)

So, so far so good I suppose; I'm still functional and not miserable. But also still very tired. I imagine I probably feel exactly what I'd feel like if I was sleeping 4 hours monophasically for a few days. And if that's all I've been doing, then we'll know soon, because in a few more days that sleep debt should rear up and kick my attractive butt. If it doesn't, then hey, we might be on to something.

And I'm just not going to count the 9-day attempt at Uberman towards or against Everyman's adjustment period. I don't have any evidence that having been sleep-deprived when you started (and sadly I was sleep-deprived, having not adjusted well to Uberman by that point) is a help *or* a hinderance, so I'm ignoring it for now, even though I didn't go back to monophasic in-between, so it's probably significant somehow. So I'm calling this Day 2, and the verdict is: Functional but Tired.

-PD

P.S. I notice a lot of people out there are transitioning from Everyman to Uberman. The first one to make it work, please let me know how long it took and if you think it was "just as hard" as the newbie-to-Ubermen people's transitions!

Day 10 / new day 1: Uberman / Everyman

Hey, I thought of a name for modified / core-sleeping schedules! We can call them "Everyman" Sleep Schedules. ;)

Seriously, I put a lot of thought into this last night (in between bashing out a truly Ubermanly amount of homework!). It completely makes sense (at least in retrospect) that the Uberman schedule would be quite dependent on factors in one's life that may not be in one's control. Uberman is not something you can in any way "fit your existing life into"; it's something you have to tear your life down and rebuild around. (I know this last week has completely fux0red everything about my usual schedule / routines / habits etc., and I didn't even get through The Razing that Uberman actually requires.) Sure, Da Vinci could do it; he had a 24/7 workshop and a huge quantity of art and tinkering to work on. Ditto Edison, Einstein, Bucky Fuller, etc. Something tells me that if I didn't have a 9-5 job and was possessed with a full-on workshop and no family to raise, I could snap my fingers and do it!

The upshot is, after much thought, the critical difference between Me Then & Steve Pavlina versus Me Now and quite a few other failed attempters seems as simple as lifestyle. Nothing else seems to bear out: For example, Me Then ate far worse than Me Now and was in many ways *less* disciplined. I know I gave this a thoroughly good shot; I planned it as well as humanly possible, was brutally strict with myself, enlisted help -- everything I did last time and then some. What I couldn't do was change my living situation to be more compatible with being up at night -- once I got too sleep-deprived to drive, I was literally stuck in one corner of a basement, and unable to do anything noisy -- nor could I change my work/school schedule to accomodate two or howevermany weeks of sleep-dep it was going to take to adjust in my circumstances. (Maybe that's it: The worse your circumstances, the longer your adjustment period?) So yes. Lifestyle seems to be a MUCH bigger factor than previously credited.

But polyphasic sleeping did something really positive for me last time, when I was lucky enough to have an Uberman-compatible lifestyle. And ever since then, I've wanted to see everyone have the shot at being less tired and having more time. If there really is an Everyman schedule (or several) that can really work, that's FANTASTIC news in my book! I guess I just had to get smacked down by Uberman in order to even entertain the idea, heh. But I never claimed to be smart. ;)

Today has gone well so far, info behind the cut. -PD


It's rather funny, because if I didn't have a reason to stay up until 2:00, I would have anyway -- I had that much homework. I started after my 10:00 nap (keep in mind I also wrote a paper yesterday morning), and finished at precisely quarter to two. Now I'm only a *little* behind, heh. But I didn't actually find the staying up that hard; I was yawning and drowsy--about Stanford 3--but it was doable and I could concentrate on what I was doing. Getting up at 5:00 wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't terrible either. (I got up right on time with one alarm, took a shower, ate, read, exercised, and took my time getting ready for work -- having the extra hour before work is *nice*, since I was getting up at 6 and now it's 5.) I was groggy, but I'd slept well and felt generally rested, i.e. not sick. Similarly, I had some drowsy episodes in the car on the way to work, but nothing so dangerous as Thurs. and Fri. last week; I didn't have to pull over or anything.

So, things are looking good for day ten/one. The clincher for this is going to be, Do I actually adjust to it? Do I eventually stop being groggy? If it's only this bad on the Everyman version, I can probably handle a longer adjustment period; it's a little unfun but it's not tearing up my life or endangering myself and others. And being that I'm still only getting just over 4 hours of sleep daily, the time gain will be totally worthwhile. (And perhaps this schedule could also address Ubermen who don't like having *quite* so much time; I've heard that a couple times.)

Compromise is where the optimists win

So.

Apparently there is something about me, or about this time, that isn't letting me adjust as easily as I'd anticipated; which, I sense, might adjust if I had the time to sacrifice to "waiting it out", like one of my role models, Heidi, who out-patiented her body for five weeks and won. Everything in me screams to be allowed to be this badass, but circumstances simply won't allow. I had a HUGE paper due today that I've been unable to concentrate on for several days now, and which I'd counted on the nights to help me finish. DAMN being a grownup; damn it to HECK.

The lesson here is "don't assume you can adjust in 4-7 days, even if you did before".

So I slept a few hours last night, feeling like a loser about it, but I woke up fresh enough to finish my paper.

Now, I've said that core-sleeping doesn't seem the same as Uberman, and it doesn't. I'm not sure how, or if, the body could adjust to it; reports on it are confusing and many people who go that route seem to fail (however, I've recently heard from a few who didn't). So, since I've put a week of gut-wrenching work into this and cannot continue it in its present form, I figure I'm in a good position to do some research. My goal is to lessen my sleep amount AND not be tired; since I don't have the time to beat myself into adjusting to Uberman for some reason, I'll take this core-sleep thing for a test-drive.

(Details behind the cut.)

I've noticed from the last few nights that, if I just pass out and sleep, I sleep a maximum of 4 hours, and I feel pretty much fine (as in, no sleep-dep symptoms). Four hours seems too much to justify all those naps, though, so I'm going to try 3. Naps at 10a, 2p, 6p, 10p, then from 2-5a. That's 4.3 hours sleep a day, a definite gain over my usual 8-minimum -- IF I can actually adjust to it and do it without being tired. If I can't, I'm just going to have to go back to the drawing board for now, and wait for another opportunity. To be honest, I'm still skeptical that this semi-uberman thing can work, so it feels like giving up to me to be trying it, like I'm just taking a middle step between failing and quitting...but this whole episode has had me in a pretty negative mood lately, so I suppose I should just attribute it to that and shut up so that I can give it an honset try.

Hmm, I think I may move the 10a nap to 9, too. That way I'm not up 5 hours in the morning, but rather in the midday, when it's easier; and it cuts into my workday less, too.

Thanks to all who encouraged me not to give up outright; it really made a difference. And I want to hear from everyone who's core-sleeping, especially who've made it work stably and/or are transitioning to Uberman...I'm still collecting data for the book, because, well, you never know. ;)

-PD

3:40 a.m. Day 9 - 685 - s.n.a.f.u.

Succeeded in sticking to perfectly-timed naps all day. Didn't help in the slightest, apparently. Was groggy on and off all day; now I'm back to fighting Really Nasty Sleep Dep again. Joy, oh joy.

Now I can see (blurrily, but still) why doing this on a college campus had such an immediate huge advantage: Numerous ways to be distracted and kill time, within walking distance. None here. And since I can't drive, pretty much every minute is a long slow countdown to when I can sleep again. Fell out like a brick at 2:00, and needed my husband to wake me up again, btw.

Am seriously upset that I still feel so ungodly horrid. My homework is suffering, since I'm not able to concentrate well day *or* night, and things don't look good for my being able to drive on Monday, unless I experience a rapid turnaround between now and then. And practical considerations aside, this is *no fun*, and yes, I knew it wouldn't be any fun for a couple days, but we're talking ten days now. I can handle anything for a few days--anybody can--but this is FAR too nasty to have to face the prospect of dealing with it indefinitely. How long is this going to go on? And what on Earth did I do wrong, or differently, that made the difference between the schedule "taking" last time and leaving me stuck in limbo this time?

The honest truth is, as a responsible adult I should have quit already; I didn't have a whole week to blow and I sure don't have two. I did this largely because I'm ridiculously short on time, and now I'm seeing how I've actually made that problem *worse* -- which made sense when I thought it would get better any day now, but the longer this goes on the more doubtful I get. And of course, being stressed out on top of sleep-deprived isn't helpful either.

I wanted this to work so badly, though, and I've already put so much effort into it, that I've decided to keep it up through the rest of the weekend. If Monday is still this bad, though, I'm afraid I'm going to have to hand in the towel for the time being. My workload is just too heavy to accomodate a week and a half of being a zombie...If I feel just a little better, though, I may give a shot at a core-sleep schedule; it isn't what I wanted and I think it won't have many of the benefits, but hopefully it would let me recoup some of the lost time, at least.

Darnit, I was really looking forward to writing a book on this, too. I suppose I could keep my notes and research in case I get another chance, but from here, that looks pretty slim. Or maybe I'm just letting my disappointment get the best of me. I really wasn't prepared to fail at this, figuring that I'd done it so well before and all, and the sleep-dep doesn't help when it comes to being morose, I'll tell ya. One thing I would do differently if I started all over again is put up a "DONATE" box for my husband -- he deserves to be compensated!

Well, off to wander in circles, maybe take another cold shower, and who knows, I could get some homework done in there, too. Ta!

-PD

Close call / New Resolution

Wow, I feel like a ship that's still dripping from a nasty, freaky storm.

Last night was just icky. I was worried at the time that I might be sick or something because of how bad I felt, but looking back, yeah, that's just "really nasty sleep-dep". However, to have RNSD on day 8 is quite counter to what I think I know about this schedule, and definitely counter to how it went last time. I'd think that it was just me having a bad memory, except that Steve Pavlina, whom so many uberwannabes look to now for an example, seems to bear it out: His Day 7 post shows it clearly, that by then he was having no tiredness except for a bit at night. He says that perhaps being a vegan helped him (no offense, but I've found that people on a special diet always seem to think it gives them advantages everywhere..."See, I tied my shoes faster because I'm a vegetarian...") -- but his report is pretty much exactly what I remember from last time, and I've never been a vegan and never will be, since (if you care) I have abnormally iron-rich blood and would have to take tons of supplements to keep from feeling anemic if I didn't eat at least a little meat every day. (I also eat lots of broccoli, which helps too...and I loooove broccoli!)

Anyway, enough digression. Perhaps it was my daily few-minutes-here, few-minutes-there oversleeps that were keeping me from adjusting; I certainly intend to find out, and have cut them out completely--none for over 24 hours now--so we'll see. It's possible that during the adjustment period, every minute counts, and keeping that in mind without someone to bug me about it was certainly harder this time.

I had been thinking maybe about allowing an "indulgence" of a couple hours on Saturday mornings, per my last post; thankfully yesterday was Friday, so I had a palatable solution to that awful sleep dep and I took it. I slept from exactly 6 a.m. to 10 (I had the alarm set for 10:20, but woke up just before 10 and decided to run with that). Now I feel functional again, though not terribly alert. I do wish I hadn't had to mess with things until at least the first month was over, but I figure, obviously I wasn't adjusting well anyway, so if this little "reset" throws me back a day or so, oh well. My biggest concern now is, will I be able to drive on Monday morning? I absolutely can't avoid it, so if I can't get some clear-headedness in the mornings pretty soon, I may be in trouble.

I'm going to have to cross my fingers and do *perfectly* this weekend. So I will -- I really want this to work, darnit.

-PD

Don't fall down now; You will never get up

Ah: The Low Point. I knew this was coming, eventually.

Day Eight (counting 6 p.m. Fri 7/7/06 - 5 p.m. Sat 7/8 as "Day 1") went just swimmingly. No mistakes, no "snoozes", no nothing; like clockwork. Except that I woke up from my 10:00 feeling like hammered hell again. I wandered around the room, too tired to be interested in anything, way too muddled to concentrate on anything, desperately fighting a bone-deep urge to sit down and knowing that if I did, I'd be asleep in seconds. Then I lost my grip for a while.

It seemed, at that moment, so totally, cosmically unfair that it couldn't be stomached. Work has been Hell, school has been twice that, my living situation has been a constant annoyance (which it was before too, but only for half as much of the time), all my attempts to find things to "go do" or be social at have failed (which wouldn't surprise you in the slightest if you knew me; Lord knows why it surprises *me*), and I'm so damned tired of being disoriented and dissatisfied and stressed out and uncomfortable that, for a while, I would have given absolutely anything to never have had the cursed idea of trying this again. Oh yeah, and I have a nice solid history of depression, and I haven't even gotten around to buying more multivitamins since this started. That has nothing to do with any of it. Nothing at all.

My achingly brilliant husband brought me Kleenex, made a pot of decaf, and badgered me until I went for a walk. Yes, I feel a bit better. No, eight days is not an uberlong adjustment period and I should quit overreacting. Yes, it's understandable that doing this in my circumstances would be a black diamond affair. No, I won't give up.

He also told me flatly that a "core sleep" sounded right for someone in my situation, and suggested I should try it. Part of his reasoning is that I just have to spend a lot of my time sitting in front of the computer--hell, I should be doing homework right now--and the night I accidentally slept two hours, I did feel much better than I have since; less groggy and more alert. He's also worried about how tired I am while I'm driving to work (me, too, actually). But I turned him down, mostly because I think it's still too early to experiment--I want to give the pure "hexaphasic" schedule more time to take, simply because backing off from there is easy, but moving up *towards* "pure Uberman" is, well, just like this, and I'd much rather not do it any more than I have to.

Thoughts are, of course, welcome.

-PD

Week One Roundup: Notes on Emergency Napping, Snoozebarring, and R&R periods.

Okay, a minor *yay* for making it through week one with no major scarring. Last night went well, no major oversleeping for the 3rd day straight, though I did succumb to the snooze button again; I also took a mid-cycle "emergency nap" at midnight, due to being so tired from my daytime naps getting messed with that I knew I couldn't last until 2. The emergency nap did help a bit and I was able to stay on schedule the rest of the night. (I say, if you have to take an emergency nap, do; it's better than oversleeping; BUT, be warned -- take it right in the middle of a cycle, and only there. You don't want it messing up another nap!)

Mentally I'm still a bit slow, and physically still uncoordinated, both of which are aggravated right before and right after sleep. This morning I walked out of the house and stuck my key in the lock of my neighbor's car. ;) I still feel like I can do everything I used to; it's just a tad harder and takes a little longer like this. I'm not constantly tired or anything, but when I am tired, it's like the Granddaddy Long-Legs of tiredness; I can't stop thinking about sleep and doing everything possible to get some. It's a surmountable feeling, but not a pleasant one.

I woke up *before my timer went off* this morning (6:00), which is a first (for nighttime), though because of an episode I had yesterday where I unexpectedly lost some time, at first I thought I'd overslept and ruined everything -- and then I noticed that my timer was still going! Well, I was cozy and so what do you think I did; when the timer went off I congratulated myself for being so punctual and then *reset it for ten more minutes*. I distinctly remember that I didn't feel drowsy when I woke on my own, but after that extra ten minutes, I was so wasted tired that I genuinely scared myself a couple times driving to work. Could it be that my stupid snooze-bar problem (which is much more of an issue at 6 a.m. than in other places) is the cause of my morning trashedness? I guess this week, I'll find out. I am less trashed, now that I've stopped driving, than I have been over the past couple days at this time.

Other than how shredded I was last night about 11:00, staying up during the night has become much easier the last couple days; I haven't even had to go out in order to stave off the drowsies for the most part. I seem to be getting trained again to wake up after 20 minutes, though it's sloppy, and again, I think I'm going to blame my habit of snooze-barring once or twice a day on that. Baaaaad, snoozebar. No more snoozebar. (Or resetting the timer or, my personal favorite, bugging my husband to please be a dear and wake me back up in ten -- I have no recollection of having the conversation, but he swears I did it.)

Thinking more on that, I think part of the reason I do it is that I miss being able to snuggle into bed and chill for a bit, which in recent years has been a common stress-reliever for me. And I'm a big believer in stress-relievers--shutup, I didn't mean for that to rhyme. Seriously, though; my father and I are both Type A crazy work-till-death types, and watching his example has taught me that one should make damn sure to keep at least one strictly-chilling activity in place at all times. In my present situation, sleeping in on Saturdays was pretty much what I had, and there's a good part of me that's pissed about having to give it up.

Would the schedule bear, I wonder, scheduling in a "chillin' sleep" once a week, say from 2-6 or 6-10 a.m. on Saturdays? I wouldn't dream of making it random, or of less than determinite length, or any of that; but I also think that I'd have a better time with my snoozebar problem and overall mental view of this if I knew that I'd still get to snuggle and chill once a week.

Hmm.
-PD

What happens when some dipshits interrupt your nap...

Ah, I was waiting for it to start demanding funny sacrifices to The Schedule Gods. Accoutrements de Vehicle demand that I buy them before next week, to prevent those pesky fellow humans from waking me up no matter where I park, as they did 3 or 4 times today, ruining my afternoon.

It's like sacrificing yourself for your Art, except instead of making something beautiful, you're tormenting yourself. It's like...sacrificing yourself for sacrificing yourself.

Personal Rule # 8,654,282,071*: Do not contemplate what the hell you're doing to yourself while you're doing it. ;)

Other than having a borderline headache still and not quite having recovered from my broken nap this afternoon, I is fine. I do want to formally thank the living heck out of the Uberman group at Yahoo -- there's no substitute for the advice and musings of lots of successful polyphasers, pure-Uberman and just about every other possible combination. And some that aren't possible. And some that are made of cheese.

*sigh* Sleep dep blows.

Over soon...

-PD

*Note: I am capable of making one personal rule a second, which means I'm 274 years old. Respect your elders, dammit!!


3.8.7 spm

Day 6: Significantly Easier

So, here I am with only 2 naps to go of "Day 6", and last night was a pleasant surprise indeed. That headache made me decide not to take my usual trip to the cafe--I just wasn't up for driving, even after I'd pretty much killed the actual headache--so I figured, well, I'm going to bite the bullet and stay home all night. And I did. I didn't even take a walk or rollerblade; my neck gets so sore after those sinus episodes that I wince like an old lady when I even have to walk across the room. Still, I was really worried about it being a hellish struggle of a night, a real naked trip through Mordor, and about messing up when I've done well for the last couple days and would rather stick with that, thanks.

Well, I'll be darned if it wasn't twice as easy as the night before had been. I was able to read most of the night, taking breaks when I got woozy to do menial things like shower or clean a little, and I even got a solid chunk of homework done between 2-6, when I would have least expected it. I wasn't more than "moderately" tired until I woke up from my 6:00 (still have to figure out why I'm so doggedly drowsy then). My headache started to come back at 3:00, so I made a snap decision to try taking an extra nap at four, and that was quite pleasant and actually did help get rid of the headache. (Funnily enough, I sat straight up and whipped my eye-cover off ten minutes into the 4:00 nap, convinced that because I'd slept so well, I must have overslept.) But even the extra nap didn't help the 6:00 problem, though I should point out that I was only about 60% as drowsy this morning as I was yesterday, which was about 60% as much as the day before; so likely I just have to be patient (and persistent).

Oh, and my "couple cups of half caff" turned out to be about 1 cup total, over the whole night; I was all set to indulge but then that's all I wanted! No negative sleep impact; I've been passing out quickly and sleeping like a brick for the last 2 days straight now (which, tellingly, is also how long I've been without oversleeping or mistiming a nap).

More later then,
PD

Making Do

Wow, challenge upon challenge lately. The 2 1/2 hours of homework I did yesterday and the 2 I did today didn't even put a dent in what I still have to do.

The humidity here has got to be like 9007%, except in my office at work, where the air conditioner pumps straight in, making everything a bone-chilling forty or so degrees and dry as the Sahara. Result? Staggering sinus headaches. I've been staving them off pretty well, but today was too much, and by the time I got home from work I pretty much couldn't move.

Thankfully, it's a bit better now, because I think my chances of staying simultaneously motionless and awake were, oh, nil or so. For now I'm a bit groggy--Stanford 3, maybe 3.5--but as long as I'm not trying to study (darnit), I'm okay. I'm permitting myself a few cups of half-caff tonight, partly to stay awake, partly to keep the headache at bay (because if it weren't for coffee I'd be taking Sudafed, and there ain't no sleeping on that stuff).

On the psychological front, I realized today how often I've caught myself "craving sleep", exactly as one craves a smoke or a drink or a chocolate or ten. Not, I quickly realized, for any other reason than that it's a nice long escape. My grandfather-in-law is the kind of person who never slept longer than three or so hours a night his whole life, by choice; he always said that some sleep was good for you but that most people indulge in it too much, and it begins to act like a drug. I would have laughed, but Buckminster Fuller said something very similar too. And my cravings since I've been "off sleep" for 6 days have a physical component, yes, but also a very strong needy psychological one. Hmm.

-PD

Mwahuh?

Waking up seems to be hardest, physically speaking, after the 6:00 a.m. nap. The way my day is planned out, I get up, get ready and go pretty much straight to work, so I do get up (I *can't* be late at my job, and that panic is a fantastic motivator). But I'm stumbly and fumbly and all kinds of not-focused, which has already resulted in a few annoying incidents of forgetfulness and/or clumsiness. And, I'll admit it, I do worry about driving this way, even though, blessedly, moving my day up an hour avoids the morning traffic rush. But then I get to work and I'm pretty much a dead rag until after 9:00 (after my 10:00 nap I perk right up).

But this is, what, day 6? No, day 6 starts at 6 tonight, I think. So this is still day 5. And though I didn't screw up 5, I haven't done a perfect job either. So more than likely, this is one of those hang-in-there things. *sigh* I hate those.

I suppose I'm right on schedule, though, when you think about it -- I started feeling lots better yesterday (day 4), and last night I had my first I-can't-believe-it's-not-torture night -- staying up was work, but not 3v1l. Oh, and if you ever want a movie you *can't* sleep to, try The Crucible. Yiiiikes. (The book is better, of course, but reading...)

In other news, I went to the chriopractor yesterday and got a bit of a physical, just to be sure. He said I appeared to be just fine, and my blood pressure was "excellent". To which I turned to him and shrieked, "I'M NOT DEAD!"

I like to keep people on their toes. 'Specially when I forgot mine in my other pants.

-PD

Since you asked...

Why no, I haven't overslept today. ;)

Feel groggy -- another "5 on the Stanford Schedule" -- but considering I hardly felt tired at all today, and that yesterday at this time I was snozzing, I'm willing to call it a victory. Considering that it's raining out tonight and I couldn't plan any physical activity, I'm half cocked to consider it a miracle!

Time to clean, though. -PD

The unbearable lightness of falling asleep

Doing this, you get to know what the sensation of falling asleep feels like, much better than most people have occasion to.

Actually, I knew what it was like before I first did Uberman. The last sleep disorder I developed, the one that drove me over the edge, so to speak, and into the arms of polyphasism, was this curious problem: Every time I laid down to sleep, I would lay perfectly still and quiet my body. Some short time later I would feel a gentle sinking sensation, followed by a tingle that passed over my whole body, as if I'd sunk through a layer of fizzies. Once that had happened, my breathing and heartbeat and every other bodily function would slow to a crawl, and I knew for a fact that I was, in fact, asleep. ...Except that the other part, where I lost consciousness, wouldn't come. I could lay there as long as I wanted, trapped in what felt like a coma, but I wouldn't actually go unconscious. I would listen to noises, think thoughts, feel my body locked down tight (I could move, but it was quite an effort at first, and by doing it I would almost certainly "wake myself up"). But I couldn't actually lose consciousness. After the novelty of it wore off (a couple times, in other words), it became hellish. "Sleeping" was too boring to do for very long, and anyway even if I did, it wasn't half as restful as it should be, because, well, I was awake for all of it. Pretty soon I would give up after about 20 minutes, and that's how I ended up sleeping only 20 or 40 minutes a day for two weeks, and looking and probably acting like the walking dead, which led my best friend out of concern to search for a solution, and find what became the Uberman schedule.

It's funny, I always thought the fact that I still felt the sensation of going to sleep when I *was* on Uberman was because I still had the sleep disorder, but my body was compensating somehow and letting me lose consciousness shortly thereafter. Today (all naps good so far), I realized that I can feel it again -- the same exact sensation, except, thank the gods, shortly after the "tingle and shutdown", I lose consciousness.

Interesting observatory powerz? Or yet another way in which I miserably fail the Normal Exams? Ah, well. I've got an icky little cafe and a buttload of Economics homework callin' my name, so I'm out, yo. Ta!

-PD

Another Smack / More Lessons

*sigh* Well, I'm not going to get upset about it this time (at least not as upset as I got a few days ago), but I overslept *again*. And this time it was the dumbest possible mistake...I was doing great yesterday, feeling good and not getting tired until 30-45 minutes before naptime, and sleeping well, and getting up with the timer with no trouble at all. So I blithely laid down at 2:00 (I was tired by then; really groggy, which I hadn't been since the drive into work yesterday morning--more on that later) -- but I figured the timer would wake me and I didn't want to bother with the other alarm, since I'd have to reset it again at 6:00. I did lay out the things I wanted to do when I woke up, and overall felt quite on top of things.

So what happened? It was hot last night, and I rolled over in my sleep and rolled onto the timer, shutting it off. Sheesh.

I only slept three hours -- woke up at 5:00 sharp -- which is a good sign that in spite of my screwups I'm making progress adjusting. I got up and did a really heavy Pilates routine followed by a shower, which enabled me to get a few minutes' sleep at my 6:00 nap, which is good. (Oversleeping is bad; oversleeping and missing naps because of it is worse.) But from now on, dammit, BACKUP ALARMS AT 2 AND 6, even if it doesn't feel like I'll need it!! I don't want any more mistakes; I'm anxious to get past the tiredness and start enjoying this more. I did mention that I really loathe being tired, right?

Oh, one more thing I should mention...I'm noticing that the 40-minute commute to and from work is a big challenge; I get very groggy having to drive that long, even if I'm wide awake when I start. Long drives are not something I had to deal with before, and I don't recall having read about anybody else's experience with them; but it was easier today than yesterday, so perhaps it'll stop being a problem once I'm adjusted.

...I did find myself thinking, in the shower, that perhaps I can see what the attraction of "core sleep" is; I felt great after that 3 hour snooze, and I could totally see doing it on a weekend or something as a treat, if it could be managed so it didn't screw up the naps on either side of it. (For instance, if I'd pushed my 2:00 to 3:00 and slept until 6:00, maybe.) But I still think that any and all tinkering with the schedule should be avoided for at least a month (perhaps I should say "a good month", as in, until after one's had a whole month with no problems), so for now my job is just to stay on the freaking schedule for longer than a day and a half at a time! Grr!

-PD

A Musings

Wow, I'm already having trouble with keeping track of days--? That was quick.

Standing here, nearly 10, approaching the second nap of Day 4, it doesn't really feel real, but it's too pervasive to feel unreal. The sun is just down; work is just good and over; the next Night is about to begin. Night One was easy; didn't really count. Night Two I goofed up a little. Night Three was hard, but I had it meticulously planned and lots of activities and also a surprise bonus phone call with a good friend right when I needed it.

Today I was definitely functional, managed to commute and work and commute again and do a good job with some tricky situations (there's lots in my job) and get some critical homework done. But I slept hard and half-in, half-out a lot and woke up groggy, and stayed groggy for about an hour after each nap. But then, I might be imagining it, yet it seems that it gets a little easier with each successive one. Just a tiny little.

One thing that is damn funny...my brain definitely remembers the 20-minute naps, or their length if nothing else. I've been setting my timer for 23 minutes, to give time to settle and scratch an itch or something before the countdown begins in earnest; and for both my daytime naps today, I opened my eyes, wide awake and panicked about whether I'd slept in, when there was still two and a half minutes on the timer. (Then I got groggy. Go figure.)

Funny stuff, the brain; grey Jello with such personality. And...it's naptime...the day/night face of the clock has turned. Welcome to Night Four.

-PD

Ah yes, now THIS is familiar...

Stanford Sleepiness Scale: 5 (very foggy, unfocused).
Emotional State: 7 (guarded but high)
Physical State: 8 (feeling generally fine; no pains or problems)

I'm at work (I made it!) so this won't be long. But...I did it! A night of flawless nappage was done. It wasn't easy, but it acutally wasn't horrible either; I remembered enough tricks to keep me sane and from feeling downright sick with exhaustion. Something physical to do upon waking up is muy helpful, and the backup alarm at the 6 a.m. nap was probably a good idea too. I had enough planned that I could focus on doing one thing and plotting the details of the other. Ferinstance, I was quite wiped during my post-garage-cleaning shower, but I distracted myself by pondering what I would eat when I got done. Yes, my brain is that impaired at the moment. I expect to start feeling better tomorrow, though.

Speaking of impairment, driving here this morning was a bit scary! I've been quite thrashed since my 6:00 nap, and driving was less than easy. For others doing this, you might want to not plan to operate any heavy machinery on days 2 or 3. Thank goodness the extra time meant that I got to beat rush-hour on the way here. ;)

I took another typing test last night, just to see how much I'm impaired physically...yeah, I'm down by about 20 WPM. Not to shocking, there.

Other side effects besides serious grogginess: Sore feet, from doing all that physical stuff! And, oddly enough, bladder urgency...when I had to go last night, I had to *go*. I have been drinking a lot too, though. Besides that, I seem to be doing fine.

-PD

Day 3: So far, so good

Rollerblading at midnight is awesome.

All the sidestreets are empty -- right down the middle of the road for almost an hour and only two cars to contend with. Beautiful weather; perfect breeze. Can't call that a waste of time!

Someone mentioned to me that sleep is their escape from being bored. That's definitely a challenge of the adjusting period -- staying busy so you can't focus on being sleepy. But I totally don't mind being "bored" usually, or rather I have such a huge arsenal of defenses against it that it rarely sinks in. Quiet time to read, type, think, draw, paint, scheme, plot, etc. is all good by me. Unfortunately, one has to acclimate *first*, enjoy quiet time second. Grr.

Oh well, so far so good today -- no more booboos, though of course I haven't slept well in naps yet; but that's normal. In fact, the tearingly aggravating sensation of laying perfectly still for 20 minutes and not sleeping was rather comforting, like a familiar difficult meditation. I sense that I'll sleep for this one, though. ;)

The formidable 2-6 block hovers horizionishly. I've got garage cleaning set up, laundry and cleaning to do, and more homework that I may or may not be able to hack doing. In any case, no reading, heh.

-PD

Post-Screwup Update

Okay, got some homework done, laid down but (unsurprisingly) didn't really sleep at 10:00. That's okay; we shall overcome, right? Right.

So, tonight. The cafe I've been going and doing homework at is closed Sunday nights. Extra planning is going to be hella necessary, then. I think best in QWERTY, so here it goes (behind the cut).

Before 10:00 is easy: Homework, homework, and more homework. If for some reason I get tired of that (but come on, who tires of homework?), I can take care of the preparation necessities below.

After 10:00's nap, I will go rollerblading. This takes at least an hour and involves getting drenched with sweat (mmm, drenched). I'll come home and snag a shower, and if I'm not too wiped, play videogames. If I am too wiped or get that way, I'll switch to cleaning and laundry (the stuff I didn't do last night while I was oversleeping, heh). If *that* runs out, I'll go weed the garden (it needs it, but only a little). Before 2:00's nap, I'll lay out "gross clothes" and cleaning supplies, and load up some good stuff on the MP3 player, in preparation for tackling the garage.

After 2:00's nap, I'll get up and do whatever exercise I can handle -- Pilates is nice but involves laying on the floor (ugh, temptation), so if that doesn't work, a walk or push-ups or something. Maybe throw in my good Tai Chi video, which is slow and looks easy but will actually work the heck out of you, and is good for focus and staving off negativity (note: Lay that video out, just in case). I'll work in the garage until no later than five, come in and get another shower (note that I made room for two showers...that's cuz I'm S-M-R-T). I'm digging out a backup alarm as soon as I'm done with this post, because of course I have work tomorrow, so oversleeping is a triple-dog-whopper no-no.

Depending on what my boy thinks (he's still in bed, after staying up until about 4 with me -- he's been a total angel through this, by the way), I might also pull the card of going to a late movie. I know sitting in a dark theatre doesn't sound like the greatest idea, but I've never even come close to falling out in a theatre in my life -- and I do want to see the new Jack Sparrow movie -- we'll see. I might not be able to afford it anyway, heh.

Okay. Off to prep and do the dry cleaning so I have work clothes tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

What do you *mean*, I'm HUMAN?!

Ooookay. So the Almighty Me, when miserably sleep-deprived, can in fact fall asleep on the couch reading and sleep right through the timer (set just-in-case because, I think, I knew reading on the couch was a bad idea).

I think I passed out about 5 a.m, and woke up exactly at 9:00. EXPLETIVE, expletive expletive. WOW did I not need that, what with work tomorrow and all the schoolwork that's due today...crap crap CRAP.

BUT. I had to slap myself around a little to remember this, but I guess I am, ahem, human. The last transition was not without a mistake or two here and there either, and I still pulled it off (cold comfort facing down tonight, but still).

What have we learned? Ahem:

• Backup alarms are NECESSARY when one is really, really bushed
• Must devise a better way of eating up time when too tired to function ...

I felt awful last night, as one does, typically, and found that I couldn't make myself do just about anything. I staved off the screwup for an hour by walking around outside, but just felt too bushed to keep doing that. Baby was sleeping, so couldn't turn a movie up loud. Couldn't focus or concentrate enough to do homework. Tried sitting in the middle of the floor, painting and watching TV, but as some of you will know, anything that involves being still means you can't stop thinking about falling over and falling asleep. Eventually I laid on the couch a minute to watch the movie (setting the timer for 20 minutes just in case, because an extra 20 minute nap doesn't screw you up nearly as much as actually oversleeping does, as Steve Pavlina discussed), but I didn't fall asleep at all, and thought (with the typically impaired processes of someone in the throes of sleep-dep), Hey, this is cool, I can stay on the couch! I'll get my book... Yeah. If I ever even opened the book, I don't remember doing it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

So, I have to run and get the baby up now, and send her off on her weekly Grandma Field Trip, hopefully before the 10 a.m. nap. I'm still tired, but a shower and some Pilates ought to get me going again, and then WOW do I have a ton of homework to do. It's probably a good thing that I have to do it today rather than tomorrow, though...the forecast for tomorrow just got upped to "Damn sleepy"!

(I keep trying to comfort myself with things like, "Hey, look at it this way; people wouldn't take the experiment nearly as seriously if I didn't screw up at all..." ...But it isn't really working. I'm quite disappointed in myself. Tonight, BEFORE I get butt-tired, I think I'll set up the garage for cleaning...I talked myself out of doing that last night because it wasn't "set up" (basically a lamp out there) yet.)

-PD

Day 2

Well, I started at six yesterday and it's coming up on my 10:00 today, so that would make this, in the parlance, "Day 2".

I have been a little tired and "swimmy" at some points today, but overall felt fine, though hungrier than usual. Got in all my naps (though 6 p.m. was a close one) and no oversleeping (though ten a.m. was close in that respect). So far haven't needed anything other than my timer to wake me, or anything fancier than a bit of exercise or a cleaning-project to keep me awake. I slept a little at 2:00 and quite a bit at 6:00, woke up groggy and disoriented but it faded quickly.

Taking advantage of something I know about myself now that I didn't have access to last time, I also went and took some movies out of the library. I can't sleep if there's a movie on; my brain just won't let go of a good story (or, come to think of it, quit bitching about a bad one). Makes a good back-up measure.

Tonight I have to take some of the tests again, do laundry (been saving it up, heh), some art and music and a hella lot of homework. Believe it or not, if it weren't for being simply too tired sometimes to stay sitting at the computer, I probably wouldn't be doing anything besides work and homework with all this time...I guess I should be grateful that my body's demanding trips outside and different activities. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy... ;)

Good, um, er, night, sorta!

-PD

Check!

Yup, okay, Night One was a success. And--crap--I just reminded myself that I'm going to need to name the nights here, soon. Losing track of the days doesn't set in for a couple more weeks if I recall correctly, but still, avoiding it would be best. Naming the nights helped last time.

Anyway. No goofs or problems last night. A couple spots of icky shuddery tiredness, usually when I got bored, and also upon waking from the 6:00 nap, which was the first one I really slept for. (Ickyfeelings solved by a long hot shower and a short cool walk.) Oh, and I think my henna-job came out pretty well. ;)

Today should be pretty busy, yay; but tonight is going to be a real challenge. I could be louder last night than normal, plus I had the complicated task of hennaing my hair to keep me engaged. Tonight, all bets are double!

Anyway, think I'll watch the rest of the movie I stuck in hours ago, and get some food. All I had last night was some broccoli, and it's catching up to me.

Ta!
-PD

1:00 a.m.

*yaaawwwn*

You know, it's really pretty shocking how familiar this all is. Laying down for naps, making late-night trips to study (I studied for almost 2 hours just now). Don't know if I ever mentioned it, but it's been a running joke with several people how, in all these years, I never "forgot" how to take 20 minute naps. If I laid down for any nap, *pop* I was awake again in 20 minutes. Happened as recently as last week.

...She says, to bolster herself before the dreaded 2 a.m. nap...

Nah, I'll be fine. At least for today. Anybody can go a day without sleep; it's tomorrow when it starts getting fun. ;)

Thanks for all the comments and jazz, btw. It's more helpful than you know.

-PD

One nap down, one heck of a lot of naps to go

Blargh, but was I ever tired after work. The 6:00 nap felt good; I only slept a few minutes of it and woke up groggy, but hey, so far so good!

Now--to chill a bit, before I get tired and have to stay busy.

PD

Bring it, Sandman!

Garrrrgh, did I sleep for crap last night. It doesn't seem fair that I've been tired all day prior to deliberately exhausting myself, but hey, you take what you can get. Maybe the Sandman saw it coming?

Here's my plan for tonight:
Nap at 6:00 p.m. Strand-test hair this evening.
Nap at 10:00. Go to cafe & do homework (lord knows there's plenty of that). Come home, maybe play video games or do something fun (I shouldn't be too tired yet; just in case I am, I left off some of the exercising I usually do in the morning for nighttime).
Nap at 2:00, preceeded by prayers to whatever gods there be, heh. Get up; take a walk. Come home, prepare henna, dye hair (assuming, of course, the strand test wasn't hideous. Henna-ing takes a while to do and several hours to set, and will be uncomfortable to sleep in, yay!) If extra time, practice bass or clean.
Nap at 6:00 a.m. Get up, exercise, shower. Maybe take another walk. Trip to library in the morning sometime.

Tomorrow afternoon I'll have to plan out tomorrow night.

Singin', Oh Mister Sandman...Get off my lawn...You got the poison and I don't want none...Oh, Mister Sandman...Outta my head...I don't like sleepin', no, I'll sleep when I'm dead...

Countdown: Last day

...And tonight is my last night of full-on hibernation.

I think I'm ready. The Monster To-Do List is printed; the timer is primed. I slept just lovely last night and woke up stingingly groggy anyway, and have been sleepy all day, so no real reason to hang on there. All I have to do now is finalize some pre-experiment testing, check with my last-ditch might-have-an-EEG-or-EKG contact, and off we go.

*holds breath*

-PD

Written in the time it takes tea-water to heat up

Two more days. The lopsided skepticism of my family and co-workers (who never saw the original experiment, so still, I think, suspect that I made it up, heh) is nicely counterbalanced by the flat, solid, nigh-giant-robot-like belief of my wonderful dreadlocked husband that I will just stomp this flat and pull it off with no more hitches than a Gundam squashing a modest three-bedroom ranch.

Well, we'll find out soon, won't we? In the good news, I found (thanks to the same lovely dreadhead) another, even better-looking all-night cafe to hang out in. In the bad, I'm doing an Ubermanly amount of work here without the benefit of the extra time--it's a miracle I'm posting, but what's five minutes, right?--school is BRUTAL and I just got invited to prepare a 15-minute presentation for a conference in NY, too much work to do and too much of an honor to pass it up ("speak at this conference" is not your usual undergrad fodder, I'm to understand...and the conference sounds marvelous itself; I'd have been happy just to *go*)...and in more good news, my henna came, so that's several hours of mucking-about to do this weekend at night, and in more bad news, the Headache From Hell is coming back on and off, from mild to mindcracking, and I reeeeeeally need it to leave me alone before this weekend!

And that's that, in a nutshell. More, and hopefully more coherent, later...

-PD

Happy Recreational Explosives Day!

I got up...at 5 a.m.

See, I finally kicked my three-day headache last night (the neti pot helped a lot, as I'd suspected it would) -- but I know that even when I kick it at night, I often wake up with it again. So this morning when I woke up for my customary "worrying and tossing and turning time", I realized that my neck wasn't sore yet, and probably would be by the time the alarm went off, so I figured I'd just give up and get up now. Gives me homework time, which I desperately need. And since it's a holiday, I can nap later, when the baby naps. So all's good. But it's yet another reason I can't wait for this Friday -- it's getting so that I'm afraid to sleep, and wake up splayed out with my face in the pillow and a(nother) thundering headache. Eeeew.

Anyway, on a MUCH more VITAL note, here's the picture of my Ultra Ugly Chrome Timer:



...Less-than-artfully surrounded by my typical "desk items" -- weird Oriental tea mug (/me is a horrid Far East junkie), my Sandman postcards that I flip through at the times when most people take Valium (ditto a horrid Gaiman junkie), and my wasabi peas (yup, you guessed it--junkie). And, um, I think you can also see the cover of my pocket copy of "The Art of Worldly Wisdom" by Balthasar Gracian. Hey, gimme a break -- philosophy major, right? Right.

Off to homework. Nice holiday, ya'll. -PD

4-More-Days Countdown

Two things today:

1. I woke up HORRIFICALLY groggy and sore this morning, even though I slept a perfectly modest 7.5 hours. I've been having sinus headaches, too, the last couple days -- not sure what that's about, but obviously I need to get off my butt and go get a neti pot. That aside, though, I went to bed last night thoroughly intimidated about pulling off this schedule in my circumstances, and woke up angry that I have to wait a few more days! I mean, crap, I feel just as badly now as I'm going to feel at 4 a.m. on night two anyway, so why not be getting something out of it>

2. What have I done about my robust coffee addiction, I hear people ask? Well, I switched to half-caff last month, and bought decaf to drink whenever it wasn't morning (usually I just drink coffee whenever I want; it rarely impacts my sleeping that I notice). Starting Friday I'll switch to just decaf, with the exception of one cup of half-caff every morning to take with me on the commute to work. (That's just, like, *tradition*.) I won't use coffee to stay awake, but I won't absolutely ban caffeine from my diet either -- I want to see what effect it has, so I'll record any caffeine I have and look for effects in my sleep. I bet I find that I can't have much, and that it has to be close to the end of one nap and not the beginning of another...but we'll see.

Ta,
PD

The Run-Up Begins / A Few More Tips

...So. Six days to go. I've slept in for my last Saturday for the forseeable future. Dunt, dunt, dunnnnnnn.

Still have some pre-testing to finish up this week; I want to take the rest of the mental acuity tests on the Cognitive Web and I'd still like to devise something mathematical...most of my tests are verbal/visual, and there should be something calculative (is that a word?) in there. Suggestions welcome, naturally.

The typing tests were fun...everybody's got to have a superpower I suppose; mine is typing. (With a minor in spelling and knowing where semicolons go, heh.) I hadn't been tested since last year; I'm up to 99 words per minute at 98% accuracy, according to Thursday's numbers. Unh.

So, I wanted to update -- now that it's getting close, I should get in the habit of doing so regularly, and thank the gods I've gotten something of a handle on my schoolwork for the moment (I had to catch up right from the start; my books were all a week late getting here! -- NOT good with all 400-level courses and a full boat at work). But I don't want to get too into rambling about how intimidated I am, or how having an idea how this works only makes it easier to an extent, and is actually making it very difficult in other significant ways (I know how much this is going to change my daily life, and everybody's that I live with, and I'm almost as good a worrier as I am a typist...). So here's something mildly useful instead:

Somebody posted to the Uberman Yahoo group (very useful crew; if you aren't in and are planning on trying the polyphasic life, I highly recommend getting in) about tips to help you get to sleep and wake up. I never needed help getting to sleep on Uberman (after the first few days), but I certainly have since; and tips to stay awake are legion--and in this context, you can't have too many. So here, below the cut, are mine. Enjoy!*

-PD

*The word "Enjoy" is a registered trademark of Coke, Inc., as is the color red. And they say I'm nuts.


Tips for sleep:

Lay on your back. Grasp the thumb of one hand in the other hand. Concentrate on this feeling for a few seconds (10-25), then switch to holding your forefinger. Proceed through your five fingers this way, then (if you're still awake), switch hands.

Also, get a bead on all of your thoughts. Gather them all together in your chest. Bundle them up on the inhale and then exhale, long and forcefully (but slowly, like you were trying to keep a cottonball in the air above your lips), blowing the thoughts out with the air. There will probably be a few left, so "gather and blow" for a few more times, then relax and enjoy the new space. (It's the same nice feeling you get standing in the middle of a room you've just cleaned, funnily enough.)

For alertness:

March in place, knees high, swinging your arms.

Even if you can't listen to it, mentally replay a song that makes you want to dance.

Shake your head vigorously, smile like you have fangs, and remind yourself how crazy you are...then remind yourself how much crazier everyone else is. (No kidding, for some reason this always wakes me up.)

Take ten deep breaths, exhaling as slowly and deliberately as you can.

If you're alone and it's quiet (hardest time to stay awake), play pretend a little. Come on, you know you haven't done it in years and you want to. (Stand for it, though, don't sit.) Let your mind entertain you. You're a dictator taking power; compose your speech (act out the hand and face gestures if you can't actually say it). Make up an interpretative dance. Invent a martial arts form that resembles your favorite muppet. Pretend you *are* your favorite muppet. Or--one of my personal favorites--your favorite band inexplicably needs to you to take the place of one of their members during a sold-out show. What do you do? Pick things that interest you and that you never actually get a chance to do, and have at it in your head. ...Okay, everybody's laughing by now but seriously, the mind is *way* better than television in terms of entertainment power, and it doesn't make you zone out and potentially fall asleep.

And that's it for now.